Sure my last post I just asked to be left alone with my pity party and what happens?? Yep, I got sick so then of course I was left alone!! Yeppers, all by myself, sicker than a dog! BTW: who came up with that phrase?? "sicker than a dog" how lame is that?? In 11 years I have never seen my dog sick? Has anyone seen a dog sick?? I would really like to know the answer to that?? Actually, I wouldnt as then people will write horror stories and I am in my happy place! Off track again.... So, I spent 3 days being sick and now I am over myself and my (very small) pity party and life is back to my kind of normal! Then again what is "normal"?? I suppose in my world it means ... Christ is first then the kids (because with the kids I get those 3 beautiful grand-babies) then of course my home and my wonderful business! All given to me by an awesome God! Those are the things I need to remember next time I want a pity party and although the pity party was warranted I should have been over it the minute I wrote the check? Now begins another umpteen years to rebuild it! I better get off the subject or the pity party will start all over again..... Too late! No! I wont give in to it! Yes I will! No, I wont thats it I am over it as I cant afford to be sick again as it is Tuesday and I have to work the next 2 days!! Ok, I really am over it and almost done being sick. Which brings me to the fact that I have to go now and blow my nose!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Can one just wish for that and make it happen? Can I just be selfish and ask that the world stop now and Christ return and we can all live in peace? Ok, so I know the answer is a big fat no!!
Someone asked me today if "God was testing me" I really detest when people think that way of God. Like He has nothing better to do than test old "Tammy" to see if she will waiver?? Oh PLEEEEASE!! I think true to the bible, He has given us free will and left it at that. I think we can learn from the crap we go through and He will help get us through it. But really nothing that can happen to me will ever "waiver" my faith in God! What a silly thought that is? Like saying that all I know and all I have learned about me and my faith could be dissolved by a trial or tribulation going on in my life?? That said, again I want to say... Stop the world I want to get off!!!?? I went through enough crap growing up and being married. Was that not enough for one lifetime?? I THINK SO!! Apparently there is no "quota" for crap or if there is I somehow have not reached it yet? The things that are happening now make me just want to pull the covers over my head till it is past! But I cant and tomorrow I will wipe out my savings paying a debt that is not mine but if not paid will destroy me and I still have the lovely "drama queen" who is bent on making my life really suck right now!!! I know boo hoo! Cry me a river! Everyone has problems I realize, but these things that are threatening to destroy me, were not made, by me! (ok actually the drama queen technically was) but still it is not as if I did it to myself? Its really sad cause in the last 2 weeks I have become something I detest! A self pitying whiner. I cant even talk on the phone because I am sick of my own words! I guess I will just pay the ex's bill tomorrow and pray the drama queen will become the child I thought she was again? Then maybe I will stop feeling sorry for myself?? Ok, so I am not ready to let go of the pity party yet!! Maybe next week???
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
What can I say about France avenue family physicians?? As I have been a patient there for 20+ years I think I have the right to say plenty! First of all shame on you Doctor Ledder for making me believe for all these years that your clinic is the "norm" for all other medical facility's. I have found out the hard way recently that this is in fact not true! OK, so he never specifically stated it was and I just assumed it but still don't you think a good Doctor would let a long time patient know that his clinic is in fact second to no one?I found out the hard way recently when my Pooky bear (20year old son) was taken to the ER in severe ab pain. They did a little blood work, pumped him full of narcotics and sent him on his way. Nice job "Fairview"! (I will be sure to let any drug addicts I know where to get the goods) The next day was Friday and our dear Dr. Ledder's standard day off. That used to bother me a great deal until over the last few years he has surrounded himself with an unbelievable staff of back ups. The PA's there at france ave (Suzi and Ellie) are truly second to none and I dread the day some big time medical facility snatches one or both up! (maybe I am actually doing myself a disservice and someone sees this and does just that?? Nah, who really reads my little old blog??) Anyway, I am off track again.... Took Pooky to see Suzi the next morning and she ordered a scan (what the hospital should have done) and found my sweet boy was suffering from colitis. Later that night dear Dr. Nelson then ordered us back to the hospital. Can u believe the hospital was not even going to admit him still? He had to actually call them! At this point I had no faith in the "other" medical people and could not wait till Monday when I could talk to a "real" Doctor! (meaning of course my dear Dr. Ledder) I did not know until then that our clinic no longer did rounds at the hospital and I would have to suffer with those yahoo's that really did not know what was going on or how to treat it. The only thing that kept me sane was the continuous calls to me by Dear Dr. Ledder. The acute case of colitus had finally run its course and after 5 days in Pooky was sent home. Where even he did not trust anything from the hospital and did not feel everything would be ok until we heard it face to face from Doctor Ledder! The relief we both felt just knowing Doctor Ledder had all the paperwork from the hospital and he actually had taken it home for night time reading knowing we would be in the next day! Who does that anymore?? Certainly not the 2 minute doctors that run through Fairview Hospital. Over the years poor Doctor Ledder has put up with and helped me through a lot in my life. (I still cant believe he kept me as a patient through my neurotic years that I was married) That clinic that he and Dr. Canfield have built is truly second to none. They actually care about their patients! They do not just write a prescription for this or that. Long ago when I was going through my divorce any other clinic would just give out anti depressents or whatever and send you on your way. Not my Doctor! He makes sure to talk it through and let me decide and 9 times out of 10 I would walk out knowing I was strong enough without any pills. That is the kind of Medical treatment we need and must have in America! You cant continue to accept a prescription and be sent on you way. You must find a Doctor who knows that too, as I have found from FAFP. No one should settle for less than the best. I am so blessed to have found my Doctor years ago and feel very sad for all of you out there that believe the example of Fairview (mentioned above) is how it all is. There is good, honest and caring Doctors out there but unfortunately for all of you I have them in my clinic! They are a staff filled with faith and compassion and are always there to smile and joke! And to top it all off they have added Nicole who now removes my "beard" and waxes my brow every three weeks! Where else do you get that these days?? One stop shop, my kind of place! So in closing thank you Doctor Ledder for just being you and then surrounding yourself with an amazing staff that takes care of my children, grandchildren, son in law and soon after Pooky gets married his wife too! (as even he wont give you up) Thank you France avenue family physicians for being such a wonderful clinic. But also shame on you for making me believe you were the "norm" because you clearly are not!!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I know its a bit late but I was measured again a couple weeks ago and yo and behold another 7 total inches gone!! Although it is not as much as the first month I am thrilled!! I have a wonderful, albeit sadistic trainer that is wonderful! I truly do not know where you can get a personal trainer for as little as I pay? (Bloomington, Mn) Scott has truly transformed how i think about working out and taking care of myself! He truly is a gem! But of course his very lame humor does not hurt nor do his sadistic ways! I know I would not be where I am with out him! Thank you, Scott!! Before Snap fitness I always thought I was overweight but I got plenty of exercise with my line of work? Wrong!! I now know that "manual" type labor does nothing to get me in shape! So, thank you Scott and Snap Fitness for giving me an inexpensive way to get in shape!!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Yep, the kids are all leaving this weekend to go to the ex's wedding. How do I feel about that? Not sure, a bit sad I think? I think it would be alot easier if Dan had not called yesterday and stated that he thought that he would just get married and in a couple years when the drama queen was out of the house he could maybe get an annulment and we could then get back together?? Hello??? What planet is he on?? First of all an annulment is a catholic thing, second of all I could never be with him again! Which got me thinking?? If he all of a sudden became a Christian would I then be obligated to take him back? Would that really change things? Would God expect me to do it? Would God want me to? I feel actually sad for Dan as I know he is doing it because he does not want to be alone and he is the type that needs someone to be with and as he pointed out its the final step with being with Lisa. Actually, I feel mostly bad for her as he made it clear he would rather be with me. That thought gives me the quakes! I pray for him to come to Christ and yet I am kind of glad he has not as then it leaves me out of the equation. Then the guilt for that selfish thought comes on and it starts all over again........ Oh well, I really do wish him the best! Have funs my little children and I am glad I dont have to go!!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Words cannot describe how happy I am that the last child is going back to school today! I am so glad this summer is over. (only because its back to school)I don't think it is necessary to drag out summer vacation like they do for 3 months. Why not just give the kids a month off and send them back? As the drama queen is now entering 10th grade, I then only have 3 years left?? I actually would like time to speed up even faster than it already goes and just be done with the raising of my children? I realize that you only have them for a short time and I am sure one day to regret that thought? But as of now I am glad school is starting again and I am counting down the years till all kids are gone? Does that sound like a really bad Mom? Yeah, probably? But it is still how I feel! Then again there is my precious Grandson Nikolas... He starts kindergarten today. How is that even possible? When it comes to him I would like the world to just stop! He is growing up so fast. Such a sweet little boy he is and he gives the best hugs! Happy school day my beautiful, precious boy!!
Monday, September 7, 2009
I found yesterday that I have completely failed at trying to raise a teenage girl! What did she do to make me see my inequities? Well, its to horrific for print. I will not even discuss it on the phone with anyone other than my other 3 kids or Mom. I will say this..... You can raise your children in Christ, you can give them all the advise in the world, you can threaten, plead and ground. However in the end they will do what they want and they will do it so that you dont even know it till they tell you months later! At this point I really truly wish that my child raising was done as I am obviously bad at it! (no question mark need there) I dont want to be a parent anymore! I have finally been beaten by a last teenager! Hey but I should get kudos for the other two though?? I really hope this does not continue to effect my sleep as it did last night, I still do need to work even though my life as a parent seems over? I also learned that trust is the most important issue in any relationship and with out it life really does suck with that person!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
What can I say truthfully about Fairview Southdale Hospital?? Well, in plain truth... They SUCK!
If you are a drug addict looking for a fix just go to Southdale as the ER will pump you full of narcotics and send you on your way. That is what happened to my Pooky bear. He was finally admitted to the hospital but only because it was so ordered by our Doctor. The horrible treatment by the Doctors at Southdale is appalling and if it not for a wonderful Nurse named "joe" and the communication with our own Doctor we would have pulled him out after the 3rd day. I did learn however that the ex is great in an emergency. Go figure!! Had to write about this awful hospital so that it reminds me NEVER EVER under ANY circumstances do I return there and now that I know that my Doctor no longer does rounds there, it will not be a problem going anywhere else!