Thursday, October 14, 2010


My daughter (17) needs to take the allergy pill "xyzal" for her allergies. She has tried everything else out there and this is the only pill that works for her. (not something I can control) Well, the lovely "Health Partners of Minnesota" Are refusing to honor her insurance after many hoops they sent us through and now tell us that we must pay a 70.00 co-pay per month for the pills?! Wow, this from a company that will give her birth control pills (not something that is necessary for her well being as with Xyzal) for 10.00 co-pay per month?! What is wrong with this picture? They would rather she go to the Doctor every other week with respiratory problems because we can not afford to pay 70.00 per month for allergy pills but go ahead and give her a deal for birth control? What is wrong with our system? Our health care system is so out of control. I wonder if the heads of Health Partners think of my daughter at all when they are out on their fancy boats or vacationing in Europe? My guess is, not even for a second... How sad that we are a Nation that has come to this. Our health care is so out of control and can only get worse. Of course that is only for us "little people" that need it the most and not for the Executives in their big Mansions.. Truly, how sad....

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Summer 2010

I cant believe summer is over? I swear it was a blink of an eye and gone. What did I do all summer as I was not blogging?? Well, it started nice and just got hotter here in Minnesota. Hot really is not a word to describe humidity. Humidity is sticky icky muggy gross and we had plenty of it. Enough complaining about the weather. My Jazzy moved out on her own and is now living in St.Cloud, she is due to have a baby in January. I have spent lots of time with her since she moved and it has been a wonderful time. My sweet Niece Angie tried repeatedly to friend me on FB and I kept ignoring her. I am really glad she was persistent because now I have her in my life and her 4 beautiful daughters. We really are a lot alike so much so that its scary and I feel really bad for her. Talk about our upbringings, molding us! It is so wonderful building a beautiful relationship with her. I am truly blessed to have my nieces in my life. My dil Kelsey actually had the summer off from school so she only had to work. What a blessing that was to be able to see her more often and so relaxed. The little brat got herself into shape and boy does she look good. My Pooky bear was home for the summer. First day back he piled all his electronics (flat screen, computer screen, laptop, etc) onto the dining room table and when I balked at him he stated "its just for 90 days" like I was insane.. I love that boy! After I busted her, Meg went with her Dad for 3 weeks and that was a real treat for all of us. She came back with more appreciation for the life we have built. She still has her bf Richard but he moved to St. Cloud so buh bye! Spent many of summer nights in the back yard with Jen, Brian and the boys. Oodles of fun, oh how the 3 of us enjoy each others company on the deck, listening to music with our respective drinks. Add to that my Nonny and it makes for some fun times. We ended up getting a metal frame pool 2 weeks before fall. (I know brian suggested it earlier in the season) We got a couple weeks out of it. Dealing with some medical crap this summer and that has not been fun. On new meds and am trusting it will all work out.. Ended the summer at the State fair with a Mercyme concert, Jeremy Camp was there too and it was wonderful enjoying it with Nonny, Sissy, Meg and Dayja. I really enjoyed walking around the fair, the weather was cold enough that there really was not a lot of people, so it made for an even better time. Thats it! That was my summer in a nut shell! I cant believe I condensed it into this short little blog, but I did! Thank you Jesus for your continued support of me and my family! Without you I am nothing and with you I have it all!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Working out and eating right?

Do you think fat people eventually get so sick of being fat that they do something about it? Do they get so sick of seeing themselves in the mirror that they decide to never eat junk again? Well, being an overweight person I can answer those questions... NOOOOOOOOOOO!! Apparently those things although bothersome dont motivate me enough to get rid of the extra pounds. Keeping that in mind I am giving it one final attempt to eat healthy and workout regularly. I started the eating more healthy about while back but I dont believe you can loss the excess without a workout plan. So 2 weeks ago I began a new workout regimen to go with the eating healthy crap and now will mostly just blog about my progress. So far I feel as though I am an out of shape 100 year old! So sore, its amazing. But I can tell that it is working as I have had a few really good nights sleep. (actually that could be from pure exhaustion?) Its amazing what a drug working out is? Knowing how working out regularly makes me feel why did I ever stop? Why doesnt everybody do it? Its so weird that we do all kinds of bad stuff to ourselves and yet dont do the good? Anyway, heres to progress and getting fit......

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Do we actually ever really know someone?

Do we ever really know someone or do we just think we do? Is the only guarantee in life is that by the bible we can truly only know Christ completely? Are we destined for heartbreak by the people in our lives? Family, friends alike? Do they know what a disappointment they are when they do the things they do or is it done without the realization that they are doing it? If it is all they same no matter how long you know someone, then what is the point of meeting new people? At least with my children I know their faults and they know mine so there is not really a whole lot of room for disappointment although it does still rear its ugly head once in awhile. So it brings me back to my original question... Why bother letting someone in if they will just eventually give you heartache and disappointment? Do we create it ourselves because we put someone up to high on the pedestal? So what is the answer than? Don't trust anyone outside of my core 9? Hmmmmmmm.........

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Thank you

Do people show appreciation by a simple "Thank you" anymore? I dont think so. I guess though if people dont really appreciate something someone does or says then I guess they have no need to say it. So do people just expect things and no thank you is needed? I mean really saying thank you is so simple. Me personally I send out thank you cards when something means a lot to me. But even thank you cards are no longer really sent by most. But to not even say thank you? Thats just weird to me. I am not really speaking of any one particular scenario, its just something that I have been thinking of. What has happened to common courtesy or a simple thank you? Of course I would not want anyone to say it if they did not mean it, but why wouldn't a person. Has our world become something where appreciation is no longer showed or said? If that is the case how sad is that? Whats next for all of us? That thought scares me!!
And now I would like to thank Sissy for being such an awesome daughter and giving me Brian and my boys! I would like to thank my Pooky bear for being a sweet boy and also for giving me Kelsey. I would like to thank Kelsey for joining our crazy group and for being such an amazing part of our family. I would like to thank Meg for being a sweet (although a bit trying) girl! I would like to thank Dad for his amazing chow mien that he makes and always shares with me.
Thank you Jesus for all of my blessings! Now I must go write a thank you not to a really great hotel I stayed at....

Friday, March 26, 2010

Cancer and my Sister

This year is just not been fun so far and now I find out my Sister Kelly has stage 3 breast cancer. YUCK!! I feel so bad for her and her family. We have never been really close, as she has always been pretty mean to me. However, does any of that really matter anymore when something like this comes up? I dont know the answer and it seems like I don't have the answers to much anymore. Things have been spinning out of control this year and although I guess I am due for some upset it is all getting to me. Then I think of Kelly and I think my issues are so very small. She has also had a tough life. Things that were done to her made her who she is and I feel very bad. She has two daughters and a grandson that really need her. Although, I have not spoken to her in years I did send her an email and lots of continuously praying. I dont know what God wants my role to be in all of this , if anything? I do know that I will leave the door open and will be there if needed. We have such an awesome God and no matter what the outcome He will be praised!!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Best Buy ~ if only they sold groceries

I was thinking today that my life would be even better if Best Buy sold groceries! Really why cant they? It would make my life so much easier. One stop shopping and all that! I ordered a fridge from there last week (thank you appliance rebate) and it got me thinking that if only they sold food then I could have it delivered fully stocked! Heck, I am a reward zone premier silver member and I am given many benefits for it. One being free shipping on anything I order so why not give me food too?? Just sell groceries and I will be happy!! I buy so much from there why not food?? It would really make my life even better!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

A night with the Boy...

Another wonderful night with my Boy! At six years old my eldest Grandson is truly a joy to be around. The night started out very nice, just hanging around the house with Uncle Danny and Auntie. Then we decided to go get ice cream from the store. As we were pulling into our parking spot the boy says.. "Grandma the sky is very ominous looking tonight" I am like... What did u say?? He then repeats it and I ask dumbfounded if he even knows what that means?? He then proceeds to tell me exactly what it means. He states we cant see any stars or moon in the sky and to him that makes the sky ominous! Thank you, Thank you!! My Grandson the genius! We get into target and he is back to being a 6 year old and really wants a foam sword that Target has so discreetly as you walk in the door. (call Sissy for permission) Of course I said yes and he gets 1 for himself and 1 for each of his brothers! Such a thoughtful boy! He tells me when we get home he is going to teach uncle Danny how to fight with them! We also got those wonderful punching balloons for each of us. Those balloons are so much fun! Danny and the boy proceed to fight each other for a good 1/2 hour and it was wonderful entertainment as Uncle Danny would cheat and pull the boys shirt over his head but very funny to watch. Then the boy declares its bed time and lets go Grandma! Really boy? Its Friday night and I would like to stay up past 9.... We go to get ready for bed and I tell the boy to cover his eyes so Grandma can change into pajamas's as that is a scarey sight I would not want him to see. He covers them and when I am done he tells me he has seen my penis! I start laughing (something the boy does not find amusing when he is not being funny) I tell him he could not have as I dont have one! Saved by Auntie Kelsey getting off work. (she cant resist playing with any of her nephews) and I got to stay up till 10:30! Woohoo!
And now I must go as I was handed a sword at 7:45 and told I had 4 minutes before he would attack so got to go............

Monday, March 8, 2010


Do we have the right to give forgiveness to anyone? Do we have the right to expect forgiveness from anyone? Those are the questions I have been pondering lately. I have never believed that I am worthy enough to do either for myself or others. But after another person came up to me last week and asked for forgiveness from me I am starting to wonder and yet I still find myself thinking I am just not worthy to give it. Then again why does one ask for it when they have no idea why they are asking? (seems a bit dumb to me) How can someone ask in that situation? Is it not all just up to Christ to give it? How can us sinners have any right to doing it for ourselves or others? Do we ask to ease our own mind or is there something behind it? Again I have NO idea!! There is a sermon on Wednesday night on forgiveness and I will be there as I am hoping the sermon will be able to explain why it is so important to say or hear the words. I have really always believed it is up to Christ to forgive us, not for little old Tammy. I always believed you get through it and move on. I wonder if I will feel the same after church on Wednesday????? Another question..... Will I ever know enough to make me worthy of Heaven?
UPDATE: the cd turned out blank due to a mix up at church, I guess I will just have to try and figure it out on my own?? That could take forever....................................

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Predestined for disappointment??

Are some people just predestined for disappointment or do we set ourselves up for it? That is something that I have been questioning for a bit now and at first I just thought that I must be predestined for it, given the mess I came from.. Then I started looking back on my life up until now and I have begun to realize that given my past family situation, I have come to the conclusion that I (all by myself) set ME up for disappointment! I want something so bad that I forget to keep the wall up. So therefor disappointment can come in. I am not talking about the disappointments from our children as that is predestined so very much expected. I did not put other relationships in that catagory even though they to are predestined. So, not realizing that I then set myself up to be crushed by others and all by my doing because I had forgotten that EVERYONE will disappoint you at one time or another. What have I learned? That I am still a child looking for something that no one but Jesus can give me. That my family means everything to me and I wont stand by and let anyone hurt them. That the family I created is mine and we have our ups and downs and those little bumps but they are truly all I need! My eldest and my Bri along with my three beautiful grandsons fill a void in me that cant be described! That my Pooky bear has found a beautiful and highly intelligent young woman to spend the rest of his life with and whom I already feel is my daughter. (cant wait for the granddaughter they will eventually give me, what a beauty she will be) Then there is beautiful Meg... She is a book that continues to be written and I pray God will help us both through these teen years. (she truly can be the sweetest thing there is) So, I have my family the core 9 of us are a match for no one and I am truly blessed to have them all. They are my greatest achievement!! The wall is up and right or wrong I will remember to keep it there!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Orlando 2010

I cant believe I have been home for 2 weeks and just now getting the time to write about my vacation?! Things have been so crazy around here and today I am finally back to a regular schedule. An old client came back and I started a new client and now that it is Monday I think I can finally breathe again.. First day was spent at Seaworld, Meg was a bit nervous thinking of the last time we were there. But all went well and we went to "sharks" restaurant again and although it cost me more than I wanted to spend, the food was fabulous and the time with family irreplaceable. Meg and I saw our first play. I cant believe I had never seen one before? It was really great and I look forward to many more in the future. The ocean was beautiful and Meg did her usual feeding the birds thing that she loves so much. Jen and I were nudging each other the whole time and giggling waiting for them to attack her. Why she loves doing that so much is beyond me but she does and it is fun to watch. I ended up spending more time with family than I had planned but turned it around and had an awesome time. I praise God for such an awesome family and though the core 9 of us were not all there, the ones that were made me realize that the family God created for me is truly the best and we may all have our issues, together we are truly the greatest! Playing in the pool with my boys was truly a joy! Having oodles of fun with Sissy and Brian was a great treat and one we are sure to repeat! My vacation did not go as planned but I learned some valuable and hard lessons and ended it with lots of fun.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I need a vacation........

The new year has not been all that nice so far... I think I was getting a bit to comfortable with life and a few curve balls were needed to show me that I am not in charge? I really detest relinquishing control so I am not sure how I got so comfy to even think I was in control in the first place? Anywho, I have given it back to the one who is always in control and now I need to clean up the mess! Well, actually I already cleaned up the water from the pipe bursting and the rest of that situation I am trying to ignore till spring. (Hey it might work out? You never know??) I also lost 2 clients in the last month and that put a big dent in my spending habits! So, what am I supposed to learn from all this? I dont know? Maybe that I REALLY need a vacation? Then I was at church on Sunday and Pastor Tom asked the question " What testimony of my life, is given to the world?" For whatever reason that question just gets me? I have no answer to that. Pooky bear loaded the New Testament onto my ipod and I began listening to that while at work today, hoping to get an answer and still nothing! Which brings me back to the beginning statement. " I need a vacation"! Its a good thing I am getting one in a couple weeks! Maybe looking out onto the beautiful ocean will help me figure it out? It's one of those questions that must be answered. (at least in my mind) Was his point to drive me crazy trying to figure it out? If so, he succeeded! Job well done, Pastor Tom! Sure glad I am going on Vacation soon....