Are some people just predestined for disappointment or do we set ourselves up for it? That is something that I have been questioning for a bit now and at first I just thought that I must be predestined for it, given the mess I came from.. Then I started looking back on my life up until now and I have begun to realize that given my past family situation, I have come to the conclusion that I (all by myself) set ME up for disappointment! I want something so bad that I forget to keep the wall up. So therefor disappointment can come in. I am not talking about the disappointments from our children as that is predestined so very much expected. I did not put other relationships in that catagory even though they to are predestined. So, not realizing that I then set myself up to be crushed by others and all by my doing because I had forgotten that EVERYONE will disappoint you at one time or another. What have I learned? That I am still a child looking for something that no one but Jesus can give me. That my family means everything to me and I wont stand by and let anyone hurt them. That the family I created is mine and we have our ups and downs and those little bumps but they are truly all I need! My eldest and my Bri along with my three beautiful grandsons fill a void in me that cant be described! That my Pooky bear has found a beautiful and highly intelligent young woman to spend the rest of his life with and whom I already feel is my daughter. (cant wait for the granddaughter they will eventually give me, what a beauty she will be) Then there is beautiful Meg... She is a book that continues to be written and I pray God will help us both through these teen years. (she truly can be the sweetest thing there is) So, I have my family the core 9 of us are a match for no one and I am truly blessed to have them all. They are my greatest achievement!! The wall is up and right or wrong I will remember to keep it there!