Are some people just predestined for disappointment or do we set ourselves up for it? That is something that I have been questioning for a bit now and at first I just thought that I must be predestined for it, given the mess I came from.. Then I started looking back on my life up until now and I have begun to realize that given my past family situation, I have come to the conclusion that I (all by myself) set ME up for disappointment! I want something so bad that I forget to keep the wall up. So therefor disappointment can come in. I am not talking about the disappointments from our children as that is predestined so very much expected. I did not put other relationships in that catagory even though they to are predestined. So, not realizing that I then set myself up to be crushed by others and all by my doing because I had forgotten that EVERYONE will disappoint you at one time or another. What have I learned? That I am still a child looking for something that no one but Jesus can give me. That my family means everything to me and I wont stand by and let anyone hurt them. That the family I created is mine and we have our ups and downs and those little bumps but they are truly all I need! My eldest and my Bri along with my three beautiful grandsons fill a void in me that cant be described! That my Pooky bear has found a beautiful and highly intelligent young woman to spend the rest of his life with and whom I already feel is my daughter. (cant wait for the granddaughter they will eventually give me, what a beauty she will be) Then there is beautiful Meg... She is a book that continues to be written and I pray God will help us both through these teen years. (she truly can be the sweetest thing there is) So, I have my family the core 9 of us are a match for no one and I am truly blessed to have them all. They are my greatest achievement!! The wall is up and right or wrong I will remember to keep it there!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
I cant believe I have been home for 2 weeks and just now getting the time to write about my vacation?! Things have been so crazy around here and today I am finally back to a regular schedule. An old client came back and I started a new client and now that it is Monday I think I can finally breathe again.. First day was spent at Seaworld, Meg was a bit nervous thinking of the last time we were there. But all went well and we went to "sharks" restaurant again and although it cost me more than I wanted to spend, the food was fabulous and the time with family irreplaceable. Meg and I saw our first play. I cant believe I had never seen one before? It was really great and I look forward to many more in the future. The ocean was beautiful and Meg did her usual feeding the birds thing that she loves so much. Jen and I were nudging each other the whole time and giggling waiting for them to attack her. Why she loves doing that so much is beyond me but she does and it is fun to watch. I ended up spending more time with family than I had planned but turned it around and had an awesome time. I praise God for such an awesome family and though the core 9 of us were not all there, the ones that were made me realize that the family God created for me is truly the best and we may all have our issues, together we are truly the greatest! Playing in the pool with my boys was truly a joy! Having oodles of fun with Sissy and Brian was a great treat and one we are sure to repeat! My vacation did not go as planned but I learned some valuable and hard lessons and ended it with lots of fun.